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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Peace

I try to keep my blog upbeat as much as possible. Focus on the great things happening in my life right now.
Because there ARE a lot of great things happening in my life.
But some days still just suck.
Some days I still feel pretty worthless. If the person who knows me best doesn't love me anymore, how can anyone love me at all? Ever?
So last night was rough. I was feeling pretty low and sad and discouraged about the future.
On those days, I start with a prayer. Then ask God if I can talk to my Mom.
And if I'm still pretty despondent, I call someone. Usually Ashli or Tami.
They talk me through it.
I remember why it's important to keep going.
Why my life isn't over just because of the pain I'm in.
But last night, the prayer and talking to Mom were enough:)
Pretty sure Joey, Marv and Grandpa dropped by, too.
I asked God to direct me to a scripture that would help, and my Bible fell open to Isaiah 66.
"Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her:
For thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river....
As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you;
and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem...
And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice.."
I'm sure there is a plan for me. I'm sure God hasn't forgotten me.
I'm sure there is still something lovable in me.
And today after work, I get to go hang out with the people who love me even though they know every single thing about me, good and bad..
My beautiful sisters:)
Yay! I NEED this.

2 comments:

Our Family of Four said...

That scripture gave me chills!
And I think that is so cool you ask to talk to your Mom, and that she helps you.. Makes me tear up! Im proud of you Tina! You are staying so strong. Stronger then I ever would thats for sure. Keep your head up, you are BEAUTIFUL inside and out!

JeaniePalmer said...

I know it's been a while since this post, but I just read it tonight. I'm wondering if you talked to your Mom the same night I did.............Isn't it just wonderful to feel like she's really here for just a minute or two?
I love you my Tina. I am proud of you for many, many things. And I know she is proud of you too.
The time was way too short but at least we know what we know and some days that's enough to get us over the bumps in the road. Keep it up. I promise you will find that someone who loves you and deserves you. I promise.