~ Aunt Joey~

My Aunt JoAnne passed away this morning. I'm still in shock. All day I've been thinking it just can't be true. There are so many conversations that we never had. Things I thought we would sit down and say one day. And now "one day" will never come. Every single memory from my childhood has Joey and her kids in it. We were inseparable. We did everything together from Sunday dinners to Christmas Eve to summer vacations. When I was a little girl, I thought she was elegant. She dressed well, smelled good and knew just how to do Melissa's beautiful hair. When I was a teenager, I borrowed her clothes and her shoes, and when I broke the heel of her favorite black pumps, I thought she was going to kill me. She never did find a pair she liked as well as those. That's one of the conversations we never had. Joey, I'm sorry. For so many things. Thank you. For so many things. I love you. I'm sorry I haven't told you that for many, many years. I always thought I would tell you one day. During one of those conversations we were going to have. One day. Thank you for bringing my cousins into this world and for loving their children the way I know my Mom would have loved mine. Thank you for calling my baby sister last week and for taking her a gift when Lincoln was born. Thank you for making an effort to stay in touch with us even when we were all so busy and wrapped up in our lives that we didn't spend as much time with you as we should have. Thank you for buying us dresses and black patent shoes when we were little. You knew it was important. Thank you. Thank you for sitting us down at Sizzler and telling us we were too young to get married. We got married anyway. But thank you for worrying, for caring. Thank you for taking care of my sister-in-law when she was still with us. You weren't related to Teri, but you treated her like one of the family. Thank you.

And here is Joey with my Grandma at the birthday bash Joey planned to celebrate Grandma's 80th year on this earth. Grandma had lost her 2nd child 10 months prior to the party. And now she's lost her 3rd child. Along with 8 of her 9 brothers and sisters. Her parents. Her husband. Her 17 year old granddaughter. My heart absolutely breaks over and over again today for my dear Grandma. I will never understand why the hardest things happen to the strongest people. It doesn't seem fair that my Grandma has said goodbye to so many loved ones. She amazes me. When I called her this morning, we were both sobbing so hard we couldn't even understand what we were trying to say to each other. She's been through so much. And loved Joey so much. If anyone hurt JoAnne, they were NEVER forgiven by her Mama.

Joey, Grandma and some of the grandkids... There are so many wrapped in this hug, I can't tell who all is there...

Joey was always good to my Dad after Mom died. Her she is with my Dad and my cute little Granny, my Dad's Mom. We lost Granny last year on Thanksgiving Day. I hate November.

My Mom died on November 24, 1987. And now she has her little sister there with her. I'm actually a little bit jealous that Joey gets to see her again.


Because this man loved them enough to give them an eternal family. My Mom was 8 and Joey was 6 when Grandma met Larry Swenson. My biological grandfather, Ray Freston, and Grandma Becca divorced at a time when it was rare and very difficult for single women. But Grandpa came along and raised Becky and Joey as his own. When Ray passed away in 1977, Grandpa took a very pregnant Becky and a very pregnant JoAnne to the judge's chambers and adopted them, even though they were both grown up and married with families of their own. It was just a formality. They were his girls all along. And now he has them both, back with him where they always belonged. Grandpa left this earth on September 14, 1998, at 86 years of age.

Along with the boy they called their baby brother even though he was 6 1/2 feet tall. Marv died of leukemia on October 2, 2005. He didn't talk about his feelings much at all, but at Grandpa's funeral, he said something along the lines that his Dad was probably sitting on a porch swing with Becky. I like to think there are a few of them on that swing now.

And the only thing that has made me smile at all today is the thought of the reunion JoAnne had with her baby girl, Anna. Marianna died in a car accident when she was 17 years old~on April 19, 1999~and Joey was never the same. She talked about Anna all the time, and visited her grave often. And now the two of them will flit off to California to check on Maksi and the Sinkliers, walk along the beach and listen to Bono. For Joey, I am happy. I am certain she was welcomed by a crowd of people who have been waiting a long time to see her. For Zeke, John and all of the others who loved her so very much, I am sad. Thank you for what you brought to my life, Joey. I'll tell you. One day.

Random Thoughts for the Day...

* I miss the old 3rd ward

* I'm kind of bummed that the girl from Utah was the first one to go home on Project Runway last night.

*I think it's way cool that Nigel has promoted a FREE National Day of Dance for tomorrow.

*I am SO EXCITED to watch Tyler play high school football this year!

*I don't like a quiet house.

*I think I hang tightly to memories of my old friends because they remind me of a time when my Mom was still alive.

*I'm no longer smarter than a 5th grader.

*I'm not sure how to define life in my 40's.

*I have decided to print more photographs. There's something about holding a photo in your hand that is just a little bit more special than seeing it as a digital photo.

*I'm looking forward to seeing my family tomorrow, but worry every time I see my Grandma that it may be the last time.....

Men...

When I first got married a million years ago (Ok, 21..) I remember being a little surprised that my new husband wasn't exactly like my Dad. I thought all men could fix ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING like my Dad could. We never called a plumber, a mechanic or even a contractor when I was growing up. Dad just fixed everything and even built his own addition to our house when our family outgrew the little home they bought from Grandpa Larry for $7,000! I expected that Kurt would do the same.

The first time we had to call the Roto-Rooter man and pay him $45 to snake a drain, I was pretty frustrated because I was convinced my Dad could have done it for nothing. Fortunately, I quickly learned that even though he was NOTHING like my Dad, Kurt was EXACTLY what I needed and wanted in my life. He cannot fix a car engine. Nope. He can change the oil but he'd rather take it to someone else. Give Kurt five weeks of sick leave, and he just simply won't use it. I think he may have missed two days of work with sickness in the whole time I've known him. He works hard and takes care of us and I am so glad he is exactly who he is.

This morning I found myself frustrated because my new Son-in-Law isn't EXACTLY like Kurt. And I found myself remembering that Kurt wasn't exactly like my Dad, either. I'm slowly learning to be a Mother-in-Law and I'm usually not very good at it. Fortunately for Mack, he has a wonderful wife who knows that he is her top priority. She successfully makes us all feel loved and respected and helps us all learn to navigate this new stage of life. So even though he is not exactly like her Dad, I think Ashli is pretty happy with him just the way he is:)

Jennie Jefferies Callister

May 31, 1915 - November 26, 2009

My beautiful little Granny passed away in the early morning hours of Thanksgiving 2009. She had suffered three heart attacks five days earlier, and stayed here on the Earth long enough for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to visit with her one last time. I had a wonderful talk with her about my Grandpa and the house he built, their trips to Hawaii together and our mutual love of rubies and diamonds.

For as long as I can remember, my Dad has been bringing Granny to all of our birthday parties, Christmas parties, Halloween parties and every dutch oven my brothers and sisters threw together for one reason or another. Here she is at the "May" birthday party and Ashli's graduation celebration in 2008.

Christmas 2007 was noisy and crazy, like it always is. Granny was perfectly content to sneak the hat off of Kurt's head and sit quietly on the couch.

The last pictures I took of Granny were at Ashli's bridal shower in July 2009. Here she is with Aunt Kay. One of my favorite memories of Granny happened about 15 years ago after I told Kay she looked pretty. Granny pulled me aside, and quietly whispered to me "Tina, did you know Kay colors her hair?" Ha Ha.. She was so serious, like Kay had committed a serious crime by coloring her hair.

In 2008, Granny had a serious fall. Her recovery took a long time, and it seemed like she just started to go downhill after that. She was always so independent, driving clear up until she was over 90 years old. It was difficult for her to begin losing her independence.

Here she is at Landen's birthday party 2009 with my Dad and Brexlie.

Granny loved the little children. She ordered kids' meals for herself whenever she went to McDonald's or Wendy's, and when she'd come to family parties, she'd dump a bag of kids' meal toys in the middle of the floor, and the little kids could choose a prize from Granny's stash.

Ashli, Boston and Granny Christmas 2007.

Granny even came to my Grandma Becca's 80th birthday party with my Dad.. September 2006.

I love this picture of Landen, Granny and my Dad...

This is one of my favorite pictures of Granny. For Easter, we hid a plastic egg in her hair for the little ones to search for. She was always so fun and full of life, dancing and laughing, smiling and cheerful. Her secret to longevity was drinking a Dr Pepper over ice every day:)

Granny LOVED Wendover! So for Christmas 2007 we got her a "Gamblin' Granny" T-shirt. (Sorry about the background!)

Easter many years ago... there must be something compelling on the ceiling for Granny and Tyler.

Granny even came to our Halloween party in Nephi with my Dad.

And here she is with me and my little girl. I am SO grateful for the many, many times I got to see my Grandma over the past few years. She seemed so young to us all. She danced in the Grantsville Old Folks' Sociable until well after her 50th class reunion. She loved my Grandpa so much. She never dated any other boy in high school, married him when she was 19 years and was never interested in another man after he died. We'll be burying her on Monday, November 30, 2009, 20 years to the day since Grandpa died. I'm happy for my Grandma. I like to believe that my Grandpa met her with open arms today.

He served his mission in Hawaii and developed a real love for the Hawaiian people. He took Grandma to Hawaii four times. So today for our Thanksgiving dinner, we all wore Hawaiian leis and celebrated the return of my beautiful little Granny to the arms of my Grandpa Noel. We'll miss her so much. She was a light in our lives, a bright, happy, funny, talented, tiny little ball of energy, and I'm so grateful for the years my children, husband and I had with her. Aloha, Granny...