Merry Christmas 2013

Where to start? 

OK. Here. Riken, Ashli and Mack were here for a few days before Christmas, and it is absolutely amazing how much he has grown and changed even in the past couple of weeks. He is a little man now, not a baby anymore. I am SO proud of Ashli and Mack for being such good parents. On Monday night, Riken just really didn't want anything but his bottle. He cried real tears (which is pretty rare for him)  and it was so hard to see him being so sad. We all knew that a bottle would make it all better, but Ashli and Mack stuck to their guns and he eventually fell asleep without it. He slept 11 hours and woke up happy as can be. I'm proud of them for not taking the path of least resistance in their parenting, and for making decisions that are good for their little man. This guy knows how much he is loved and I couldn't be more proud of them all. 

Now to Zack! He thought of his romantic proposal to McKenna ALL BY HIMSELF!!! I'm so proud of him.  Kenna wanted to start a tradition of giving each other an ornament on Christmas Eve, so he had the idea to put the ring inside a beautiful ornament and propose to her that way. We are all SO happy! We love her so much and we're so excited to welcome her into the family. 

Mack and Zack both had to work on Christmas Day, so we got permission from Ty's mission president to Skype with him on Christmas Eve. It was SO great!!!! He grinned from ear to ear through the whole call, and he looks so awesome. I knew I missed him, but I didn't realize how much until I saw his face. I cried a lot after the call ended, just missing him, but I wouldn't trade that hour for anything in the world. I can't WAIT for Mothers' Day to see him again:) 

I got a beautiful facebook message from Kim Marshall, an investigator he has been teaching. She will be baptized in two weeks and she has asked Ty to baptize her. Her life has changed so much since she started learning the Gospel, and she thanked me for making the sacrifice of sending my son into the mission field. She thanked me for raising such a wonderful young man, and it was one of the BEST Christmas gifts I've ever received, hearing from her like that. 

Another great surprise came from Alec when he called last night to tell us that his Dad proposed to his Mom after being together for 12 years and having three beautiful kids together. He bought her a beautiful ring with help from the boys, and they're all excited to make their family official. As are we:) !! 

I love the moments when I see our grandbabies, but moments with both Ken's and mine together are rare. We took Riken over to Zane's birthday party on the 23rd, and Miss Oaklee wanted me to hold her, too. This is a precious moment for me. Ken has 11 grandkids and of course I have little Riken, so I love it when we can blend well and Rike gets to play with his little cousins in this big, crazy, blended family of ours. 

Jen and the kids were our final visit on Christmas Day, and it was so great to spend a few minutes with all of them. 

All in all, this was a very Merry Christmas all the way around.  

 Smiles like this one are the highlight of my life... 

 And what more could a Mom wish for her kids than this? Was it REALLY 5 years ago when he proposed to her on Christmas Eve?

My little girl... ah... life is good! 

Rylee Ann

Brace yourself... this is going to be a long one.

Ken's daughter went to the hospital Sunday night to get induced Monday morning, which was her due date. She was on Pitocin all day Monday, and never got beyond a 2, so they decided to do a c-section Tuesday morning at 8:00. The doctor finally got to the hospital at 10:00 and they decided to do it at 4:00 that afternoon. It's a small hospital and apparently the operating room was still in use from a 2:00 exploratory surgery so they pushed the c-section to 6:40 PM, following yet another surgery.. an emergency removal of a "foreign object". We have no idea what the foreign object was. I had to work at 6:00, and we called to have someone cover for me, but noone was available to do it. So I went to work and waited to hear from Ken.

At 6:48, I got the text that she was here!

8 pounds 3 ounces, 19 1/2 inches, tons of hair. Mom and baby doing great. Woohoo!!!!

Isn't she exquisite?? Just perfect.

Reminds me so much of Ashli when she was born.

And that brings me to this....

Our families, Ken and mine both, have been through HELL this past year. I never, ever imagined that anyone other than Ashli, Zack and Tyler would bring grandchildren into my life. And I feel disloyal to them getting excited about the birth of this beautiful baby girl.

But my husband is so proud and I love him so much and I can't help but be so glad that Rylee is a part of our lives. It's so complicated and I hate my ex-husband for putting us all in a position where it has to be difficult. Ken is in the same position. His ex-wife wasn't welcome at the hospital the past few days. And it broke my heart for her, even though I understand why her family feels the way they do. She married the guy she started seeing when she was married to Ken, and her kids are dealing with the breakup of their family in the best way each of them can. Ironically, Ken and I are doing the best of all of us in this whole thing, and we were the ones whose lives were destroyed by our former spouses just a year ago.

Ken is amazing. He has 9 kids now, including mine, and only 3 of them are his actual biological kids. But he loves them all exactly the same. Yesterday when he was leaving his daughter's room for the last time before she went to surgery, he kissed her forehead and I was flooded with emotion. He's been in her life since she was a little girl, and it's been a rocky road sometimes. He loves her so much, and he's such a great Dad to all of the kids. I'm so blessed to have met him and married him and I love being a part of his family, even when I don't know exactly where I fit in sometimes.

Now back to Rylee..

She's so alert, isn't she?

Beautiful baby.

And this is my favorite of all the pictures they took last night. I love the way she looks at her Dad. I would never have imagined he'd be so cute with a girl. He and the boys are all boy and this is a side of him I love.

Ah... here goes the rest of our lives.

Still some curves ahead, but we're finding our normal one step at a time.

New Grandbaby....

Ken's daughter is having a baby tomorrow. Her third. Her first girl. They're starting her at 8:00 in the morning. And I'm a nervous wreck. He wants me there with him while he's waiting for the baby to come. But I'm not sure she wants me there. I will certainly stay out of the way, not go in her room or anything. But I'm sure her mom will be there. And her mom HATES me! I came into the picture months after she and Ken got divorced. She wanted the divorce. She got remarried before Ken and I got married. But she hates me anyway. She calls me hurtful, insulting names and I am so dreading being in the same room with her. Dreading it to the point of crying and having anxiety and staying home from church today with a massive headache. Ugh. I have no idea where I fit in this family, I don't know my role and I don't want to offend anyone. But I want to be there for Ken. And hang with the boys who are about to get a baby sister.

I had these T-shirts made for them at the mall last night. Aren't they cute? The boys are really, really good to me. Kids are awesome. So I'm excited to see them. Let them play a little Angry Birds on my iPod and stuff. But I'm a nervous wreck. Hope all goes well with the delivery, Mom and baby will be healthy, and Grandpa will have a wonderful experience tomorrow. And that I'll get through it the best I can!!