The Clothesline Project

So my daughter, Ashli, works at a residential treatment center for young men ages 12-18. It has profoundly changed her life, and consequently, mine. She has learned communication and coping skills that have made the past year not only bearable, but ultimately beautiful for me. Tonight she asked me to go with her to see the display of "The Clothesline Project" at UVU in Orem. I would be missing a math quiz at college, but hearing her describe the display, I knew it would be well worth it.

And it was.

Victims of violence, emotional and sexual abuse write or paint on t-shirts, saying whatever it is they want to say. Some of the shirts are pretty raw and painful to read. Some of them I actually couldn't read. The organizers don't censor the shirts at all, and you don't exactly leave the event with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Someone had made a shirt for Lori Hacking, with a tiny little onesie attached to the larger t-shirt. That one was pretty powerful.

I didn't start to cry until "Rockit", the secretary of the Central Utah chapter of BACA, started speaking at the podium. She described a time when her BACA chapter was in court with a 5 year old girl. She was afraid to walk down the hall to the bathroom because her father was seated in the hallway. So the bikers formed a circle around her and escorted her down the hall. I cried when I heard that. Every child needs a circle around them. Every child needs to feel safe. Far, far too many are not safe, not loved, not protected. It is impossible for me to articulate everything I felt as I looked at the hundreds of t-shirts on display. I only know that I was there for a reason. The things that have occurred in my life have occurred for a reason and I can't stop thinking about this tonight. Everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle.

I must find a way to make a difference for someone in some small way every day.

SO many people have made a difference for me this past year.

Ashli and Mack insisted that I move in with them exactly a year ago this week.

Instead of me sitting alone in my apartment crying every single night.

They brought me back to life.

It wasn't easy for them. To have mom living there. Crying every single night. But they did it anyway.

Tami listened to me cry any time I needed to. No matter what time of the day or night. Jeanie sent me flowers on a particularly rough day.

Steve and Bob flirted with me and made me feel like a girl again.

Lisa checked up on me via text, facebook message or blog comment to make sure I was doing ok.

Grandma sent me money.

The list goes on and on.

I thought my life was over.

And I had a circle around me making damn sure that it wasn't.

I didn't really have that when I was younger.

I'm glad I have it now.

And I hope I can be in someone's circle when they really need it.

Believe...

So we've already established that I have the greatest kids ever.

But I also have the greatest friends ever:)When I got home from work, there was a card in the mail clear from Northern California.

Lisa the Liberal sent me a card that said "I believe in you" with this awesome wristband attached.

I will wear it every day.

Alongside my Yankees one.

They would be accompanied by my Tough Enough to Wear Pink one.

But Hemi ate it.

Thank you Lisa. I heart you:)

Lessons Learned from a Liberal

On Sunday, I spent 7 hours with an old friend in San Francisco. At first glance, we would appear to be polar opposites. I arrived in my husband’s semi-truck, the quintessential redneck hicks from Utah. She has a gorgeous haircut , a great corporate job and she’s a *gasp* Democrat!!!! I was a little worried about what we’d talk about. I hadn’t seen her for 23 years and I didn’t want our first visit to turn into a heated political battle. I shouldn’t have worried. It was wonderful to see her again, and I am learning at 41 years of age, to embrace diversity. I learned a lot in my “Day with a Democrat”…..

1. Wear sensible shoes. I wore jeans and ropers. My boots get more comfortable every time I wear them. They’re two years old now and I love them, but they weren’t the best choice for walking along the piers. I learned to be prepared for opportunities that may arise. Dress in layers in case the weather changes, and wear sensible shoes in case you have the chance to do something amazing outdoors.

2. We went to a San Francisco Giants/LA Dodgers game and she suggested we try the garlic fries. I love what she said “The best thing about the garlic fries is that you get to enjoy them for three or four days”. Ha Ha! They were delicious, and the taste definitely lingered long after the fries were gone!

3. I went to San Francisco about ten years ago, and I hated it. I wondered what in the world people saw in that city. Seeing San Francisco through her eyes made me fall in love with the city. She told me about the architecture, about the history of her beloved Giants, and simply walking around the beautiful Bay made me see how people from every walk of life could find a home in San Francisco.

4. Who would have thought that I’d learn my greatest lesson about being a Christian on a Sunday at an MLB game, when I probably should have been at church? Lisa told me about her friend... a born-again Christian… and this is what she said about him “He could see a 400-pound woman in a bikini with pink hair and not bat an eye”. Beautiful! That is what being Christ-like is all about. It’s not about judging others and keeping score like so many of us “Latter Day Saints” do. We tend to be an arrogant, holier-than-though people and I vow to be less judgmental of others and more like Christ in my dealings with my fellow man.

5. You don’t have to eat carrots sticks and spend four hours a day in the gym to be physically fit. People in San Francisco eat everything from fried shrimp to artisan cheeses (Which she treated us to…delicious!), but incorporate fitness into their everyday lives. They walk, ride bikes, jog. Exercise is part of their daily lives, part of their social lives, and an essential means of transportation in a city where owning a vehicle is really more of a burden than a convenience. So if you see me walking to work, don’t offer me a ride, please. I’m incorporating fitness into my everyday life!