Days 10-12

I'm combining a few days here. I've been a terrible blogger the past little while. So, let's say yesterday was Day 10. It was my first day off from my new job at the Payson Wal-Mart in a while, so I stayed in PJ's all day!! It was awesome:) Lime green knit pants and a hot pink nightshirt that says "Mommy is taking a time-out". Great day!

Day 11~ What you Ate Today. So far I've some popcorn left over from last night and a mini snickers. It's 10:00 so I imagine I'll have lunch in a couple hours. Soup and a peanut butter sandwich, I'm thinking.

Day 12~ What's in Your Bag? I've moved everything into this little lunch bag that I take to Wal-Mart, so it contains:

A bottled water
The conference issue of the Ensign
A ziploc bag of frosted mini wheats cereal
A box of Great Value crackers
A can of cheddar cheese spread
My Subway card (the sandwich place, not the public transportation)
Some change
Three dollars
A checkbook
My amazing boxcutter knife issued by Wal-Mart. It has a holster and everything. LOVE my knife:)
My Wal-Mart name badge
An extra pair of socks
Some baby wipes
Three pens
Some notepaper
My Ipod

Day 9 ~ Your Beliefs

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

http://www.lds.org/

Day 8~ A Moment

Before Ashli and Mack got engaged, she had his car over at college in Ephraim. One snowy night while driving home to Nephi, she went off the road, through a barbed wire fence, taking out two fence posts, and ending up in the middle of a snowy field. I was ahead of her in the van, and when she didn't show up, didn't show up, I went back to see where she was. I called Mack, and when he arrived on the scene, I had "A Moment". He parked across the road, ran over to Ashli and just held her in his arms. He was a 19 year old kid, and he didn't even glance at his car to see what kind of damage had been done. He just held my little girl, and she broke down in tears. I had never seen love like that before and I knew then that I'd lost her. They were married less than a year later.

~ Aunt Joey~

My Aunt JoAnne passed away this morning. I'm still in shock. All day I've been thinking it just can't be true. There are so many conversations that we never had. Things I thought we would sit down and say one day. And now "one day" will never come. Every single memory from my childhood has Joey and her kids in it. We were inseparable. We did everything together from Sunday dinners to Christmas Eve to summer vacations. When I was a little girl, I thought she was elegant. She dressed well, smelled good and knew just how to do Melissa's beautiful hair. When I was a teenager, I borrowed her clothes and her shoes, and when I broke the heel of her favorite black pumps, I thought she was going to kill me. She never did find a pair she liked as well as those. That's one of the conversations we never had. Joey, I'm sorry. For so many things. Thank you. For so many things. I love you. I'm sorry I haven't told you that for many, many years. I always thought I would tell you one day. During one of those conversations we were going to have. One day. Thank you for bringing my cousins into this world and for loving their children the way I know my Mom would have loved mine. Thank you for calling my baby sister last week and for taking her a gift when Lincoln was born. Thank you for making an effort to stay in touch with us even when we were all so busy and wrapped up in our lives that we didn't spend as much time with you as we should have. Thank you for buying us dresses and black patent shoes when we were little. You knew it was important. Thank you. Thank you for sitting us down at Sizzler and telling us we were too young to get married. We got married anyway. But thank you for worrying, for caring. Thank you for taking care of my sister-in-law when she was still with us. You weren't related to Teri, but you treated her like one of the family. Thank you.

And here is Joey with my Grandma at the birthday bash Joey planned to celebrate Grandma's 80th year on this earth. Grandma had lost her 2nd child 10 months prior to the party. And now she's lost her 3rd child. Along with 8 of her 9 brothers and sisters. Her parents. Her husband. Her 17 year old granddaughter. My heart absolutely breaks over and over again today for my dear Grandma. I will never understand why the hardest things happen to the strongest people. It doesn't seem fair that my Grandma has said goodbye to so many loved ones. She amazes me. When I called her this morning, we were both sobbing so hard we couldn't even understand what we were trying to say to each other. She's been through so much. And loved Joey so much. If anyone hurt JoAnne, they were NEVER forgiven by her Mama.

Joey, Grandma and some of the grandkids... There are so many wrapped in this hug, I can't tell who all is there...

Joey was always good to my Dad after Mom died. Her she is with my Dad and my cute little Granny, my Dad's Mom. We lost Granny last year on Thanksgiving Day. I hate November.

My Mom died on November 24, 1987. And now she has her little sister there with her. I'm actually a little bit jealous that Joey gets to see her again.


Because this man loved them enough to give them an eternal family. My Mom was 8 and Joey was 6 when Grandma met Larry Swenson. My biological grandfather, Ray Freston, and Grandma Becca divorced at a time when it was rare and very difficult for single women. But Grandpa came along and raised Becky and Joey as his own. When Ray passed away in 1977, Grandpa took a very pregnant Becky and a very pregnant JoAnne to the judge's chambers and adopted them, even though they were both grown up and married with families of their own. It was just a formality. They were his girls all along. And now he has them both, back with him where they always belonged. Grandpa left this earth on September 14, 1998, at 86 years of age.

Along with the boy they called their baby brother even though he was 6 1/2 feet tall. Marv died of leukemia on October 2, 2005. He didn't talk about his feelings much at all, but at Grandpa's funeral, he said something along the lines that his Dad was probably sitting on a porch swing with Becky. I like to think there are a few of them on that swing now.

And the only thing that has made me smile at all today is the thought of the reunion JoAnne had with her baby girl, Anna. Marianna died in a car accident when she was 17 years old~on April 19, 1999~and Joey was never the same. She talked about Anna all the time, and visited her grave often. And now the two of them will flit off to California to check on Maksi and the Sinkliers, walk along the beach and listen to Bono. For Joey, I am happy. I am certain she was welcomed by a crowd of people who have been waiting a long time to see her. For Zeke, John and all of the others who loved her so very much, I am sad. Thank you for what you brought to my life, Joey. I'll tell you. One day.

Day 6-7

I decided to combine these days.. the topic for Day 6 is "Your Husband/Boyfriend" and Day 7 is "Your Definition on Love"

After 21 1/2 years of marriage, and 42 years of love, I think I've come to realize that love really is completely unconditional. Love means giving without wishing for anything in return. I haven't mastered this yet. I need to give more unconditional love, be completely selfless and be unafraid to love, without keeping score.

Love is Ashli's little dog jumping up and attacking her the minute she walks in the door, simply because she is happy to see Ashli. Love is Ashli holding the puppy on her lap all the way home from Grantsville after she threw up all over Ashli's car and clothes after a few too many treats.

I don't think love ever ends or it wasn't love in the first place. If love is returned, that is just a beautiful bonus, but not a condition for loving in the first place.

I'm working on it. So if I shower you with love over the next few weeks as I strive to be more loving, humor me. I'm not expecting anything in return:)