The Atonement

We watched this video in Sunday School yesterday.

It was only about the fourth Sunday since I decided to return to church with my whole heart, no matter how long the process took for me to return to full fellowship.

I'm not even sure there was a MOMENT I decided that I really wanted to go back to the  temple and be the ME I'd always been "before".

It's been a process over the past few weeks. My nephew getting ready to leave for his mission tomorrow. My son talking about going on his mission next year. My friends telling me that it's the right thing to do. My heart telling me that I really want to go inside the building every time I drive by the Manti temple. My visiting teacher bringing me something with a butterfly on it every couple of weeks or so. My 70 year old home teacher and his 16 year old companion who haven't missed a month of visiting even when we were kind of rude to them and told them we didn't have time one night.

Mostly it's probably just because I believe it. Train up a child in the way he should go and all that. I've been taught this gospel since I was a tiny little girl, and it's a part of me. I took a detour for a while there. Blamed God for things that were really just a matter of other people's free agency. Used my own free agency to circle around and check out the side trails. But I'm back.

And once I made that decision in my own heart, it was like that's all God was waiting for.

Yesterday after we watched the video in Sunday School, the Bishop (who has seemed remarkably humble and kind lately, btw) came and asked us to meet with him right after the block of meetings yesterday. We had an emotional meeting with him, his couselors and Ernie, the executive secretary. At the end of that meeting, he asked us to return at 5:00 for temple recommend interviews. I cried. Ken cried. It was pretty amazing. And now I hold a recommend in my hand for the first time in over a year. Even though I have two tattoos and even though I made some other interesting choices along the way. I wanted to go to the temple the minute it opened this morning, but of course, Ken had to work. I have to work tonight. I have to work tomorrow night. But Thursday... Thursday we'll be there. Together. I never thought I'd see this day again, going to do a temple session with the man I love.

And Sunday we get to take the sacrament, answer questions in class, speak or say prayers or bear our testimonies, or... .wait.. or be nursery and cub scout leaders!!!???? What were we thinking? lol. I'm truly happy. I feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders and I'm back where I knew I wanted to be all along.