Temple with Tyler

 Tyler received his endowment in the Manti temple today. He had some great support from people who love him. 

 His best friend Kelton was his escort. Kelt leaves on the 19th for his mission in Oregon, so it was awesome that they got to share this experience before he goes. 

 McKenna and Tami had the exact same color on when they arrived. SO CUTE!! 

 Tami is always so supportive of everything my kids do. She drove a long way this morning to be there for Ty. Love her:)

 My boys and their dad

 Us:)

I'm blessed with two amazing sons. I love these guys beyond words. 

Tyler's Mission call

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zLqkji99_Q

I seriously hope you can open the link to Ty's mission call video, 'cuz it's really awesome!!!
I don't even know where to start to describe the amazing things I've felt and seen over the past few weeks as we prepared to receive Ty's mission call. Even going back YEARS, so much has led to this moment, it's hard to describe it all.

Let's start here. Every one of these guys has received his mission call. These are the kind of people my son chose to have in his life for the past 19 years. Amazing young men, on and off the football field, in and out of the classroom. Just a really great influence on each other. Most of them drove home from SUU the weekend before finals just to be there for Ty when he opened his call. They all love and support each other so much, it's a blessing to know that Ty has them in his life. 

So to the weeks before his call finally came. Ty has been terrified that he'd go to Asia or a country where he'd have to deal with snakes (his biggest fear in THE world) or spiders or rotten meat hanging in the streets or any number of other challenges he could have faced. He would have served the Lord wherever,of course, but he really wanted to stay in the United States. Well, he got his papers in, and the wait began. 

Every Wednesday we walked out to the mailbox to see if that big white envelope was here. And week after week, it wasn't here. Just in case it was a day or two late, we did the same thing on Thursdays and Fridays, then by Saturday we had given up all hope of it arriving at all. Kurt was getting irritated, because we were planning to open it at Tracy's house, and she had a nice dinner, cute decorations and fun stuff planned, so they really needed to know WHEN to plan the event. We checked with the Bishop every Sunday, and for like three weeks, his status said "Call has been assigned", so we knew it was coming. On Wednesday April 24th, I went over to the Manti temple to do an endowment session. I wanted to pray in the celestial room about Ty and also about Ashli and Mack as they are in the process of moving to St George and I needed to accept the fact that I won't see them every day:( 

So, anyway.... as I left the dressing room at the temple, I saw sweet little Norma Bramall, from the old Nephi 3rd Ward. I love when I see 3rd warders in the temple. It is the ward where I raised my kids, and there are so many wonderful people there.  As I turned the corner, Sister Ora Mae Mellor was sitting at the desk. She is the wife of our former 3rd ward bishop, Chuck Mellor. So that was another amazing moment. Then I went to get the name of the person for whom I would be serving that day, and Sister Dixie Boswell, also from the Nephi 3rd ward,  was the one who escorted me through the new name curtain to begin my session. The new name that day was SO special to me. I cried before I even left the cubicle. Dixie hugged me and told me how much she loves our family, asked if Ty had his call yet and told me to be patient. Her husband, Lynn, was Tyler's cub scout leader when he was 8 years old. Ty was the ONLY boy in the den, and week after week, Lynn planned amazing projects for Ty, while Dixie made treats and handled it as if there were a den full of boys. They had a tremendous influence on Tyler's life. 

About two years ago, their son, Brent, published a book "Brother's Bones"and asked Ty to be the cover model for his book, so the family means a lot to us, and it was so great to share that moment with Dixie on Wednesday. As I entered the chapel, I saw Adria Packard, Tyler's first stunt partner from the Snow College cheer squad. I was struck by the fact that on the day I was there to pray about Ty, I was surrounded by people who have had a profound influence on his life in the past, present and future. It was an amazing, humbling feeling. In the world room, I looked up to see the painting of Christoper Columbus, which always reminds me of Ty because he played Columbus in the Nephi Elementary School 1st grade play (of which Dixie Boswell was the director). So it was an amazing temple session, and I was just sure that I would find a mission call waiting at home when I returned from Manti that Wednesday. 

But alas.... 

So by Thursday, Kurt was getting really upset. I quit texting him back, because I really didn't know what to say. The Bishop could only check the status and there was not much we could do beyond that except wait. So, what did I do? Took a nap, of course. And dreamed that the mission call was in the box for apartment B because we had put the wrong box number on his mission papers. I jumped up from my nap, called Ty and asked  him to come over to my place so we could just look online and make sure we had given them the right address. I called Ken and asked him to go over to the post office and see if Kevin Bright could get us into the box for B in case the call was there. Ty got online,and sure enough, we had NO box number on his mission papers. He emailed the church to explain what had happened and asked if they could send the call to our PO box.  He no sooner hit "Send" than his cell phone rang. It was the institute secretary, who told him that his call was over at the post office and if he didn't pick it up that day, they would have to send it back to Salt Lake. Kevin had been calling bishops from the YSA wards for the previous week to try and locate Ty, as his call had arrived with no box number. It just didn't click to him that Ty was mine, as Kevin has now been delivering my mail for over a year with my new last name, and just didn't register that it was Allred before. He didn't think to call home wards, because most kids in Ephraim go to singles wards, so our bishop didn't get a call from Kevin that week. Kevin finally thought to call the institute and see if they could locate Ty. So when they called, we jumped in the jeep and headed to the post office. As we turned the corner from  Main Street, Ken called my cell and said that he was holding Ty's call in his hands. He had gone into the post office just as all of this was unfolding and it all finally came together. We met Ken in the parking lot, and Ty finally had his call! Kurt was working in Cedar City, so we waited until Saturday the 27th to open it in Nephi. 

 We all showed up in Yankees gear, because that's what we do. When Riken arrived in his "New York fan" onesie, noone even imagined that Tyler would be called to the ONE mission out of 405 missions in the church where Yankee stadium is located. Sure, he had hoped that he'd go there, but never once did anyone think it would actually happen.

This kid LOVES New York. This FAMILY loves New York. Tracy's family loves New York. We love the city, the state, the Yankees, the whole works. When people talk about their dream vacations, this is ours. Not Hawaii or the Caribbean. New York. And Ty gets to serve there for two years. This is no accident. Our Heavenly Father knows my son personally. There is absolutely no place Tyler would rather go to serve his mission, and I am so grateful that this is the place where he gets to be. It's a blessing that Tyler deserves 100%. He is a good man and he will be an amazing missionary. 

 Lots of people were there to support Ty, but I was especially grateful for my beautiful sister and nieces for being there as I went to Tracy's house for the first time. Tami had run a half-marathon that morning, and the girls had a track meet, but they came to support Ty even after a long and crazy day for their family.

Ah, my amazing kids. I love them all so much. They all bring something different and beautiful to my life, and I look forward to the amazing things we will see from all of them in the years to come. Check out the baseball caps. Not planned. It's just what we wear every day. We are psychotic Yankees fans. In fact, we leave in two days for a vacation to Denver which has been planned for six months. To see the Yankees play the Rockies. We heart New York. His call is no coincidence. My heart is full.

Oh, yeah... and THIS guy. I am so blessed. 

Dear Diary

Disclaimer: This is about to get really personal, so if you  don't care to delve that deeply into my heart and soul, click the red x in the upper right. Thanks.

 I have been a Latter Day Saint since my Dad baptized me on July 3, 1976. It's all I've ever known. I've never doubted for one second that Joseph Smith knelt in the Sacred Grove and physically saw God and Jesus Christ. I have always believed that Families are Forever if you are sealed in the temple. My daughter's temple wedding was one of the greatest days of my life.

But when my own temple marriage crumbled after 22 years, I started to question everything I believed in. I didn't even know who I was. I had defined myself as a wife and mother for so long, I didn't even know how to live. My sons were 19 and 17, and we let them choose.

They chose their Dad.

It was devastating. I woke up one day and I had lost everything.What kind of God does that? What kind of God lets that happen? But my daughter was ruthless in making me heal. She mothered me and brought me back to life. She didn't talk to her Dad for a whole year. She basically sent her husband Mack with a horse trailer to pick up my stuff from the little two bedroom apartment I shared with NOBODY and made me move in with her, so she wouldn't worry every night about me crying myself to sleep. Our testimonies floundered. We were hurting. We didn't understand and we weren't all that happy with our Heavenly Father.

 And then..I met a man. I fell in love. He'd been in 4 bishoprics before his temple marriage of 24 years fell apart the same way mine did. He was hurting, too. We were soul mates. I moved in with him a month before our wedding. I got a tattoo. I was blissfully happy. But we missed the Church. So ten days after our wedding, we went and talked to our bishop. Told him all the gory details. We had a church court. We were put on probation for an unspecified period. The bishop said it would continue until he felt like we were ready. We had some stuff we had to take care of. And we did every little thing that was asked of us. We knew we wouldn't be able to go back to the temple for a year, but we needed SOMETHING. We couldn't pray in meetings or answer questions in class or take the sacrament, and we had to meet with the bishop  every other Sunday. We paid our tithing, went to our meetings and still we were ostracized and put on display month after month after month when we had to pass the sacrament tray down without taking it. On Easter Sunday, all of our meetings talked about the Atonement. We were six months into our probation then, and we thought some little privilege would finally be restored to us then. Sacrament or the ability to pray or bear our testimonies or answer questions or SOMETHING. I mean, the Savior met us halfway, right? We felt really strongly that we had done what was asked of us and Jesus Christ did the rest. We met with the bishop that day and he said we weren't ready for any of those things to be returned to us. We haven't been to church since. Two weeks ago, we decided to try going back, but we only stayed for sacrament meeting, and we didn't feel loved or welcome or anything, so here we are.

My oldest nephew, Maveric, baptized one of my younger nephews, Logan, yesterday. Mav is going on a mission to Puerto Rico in August and I'm so proud of him. As I am of Logan for choosing to be baptized and for my sister, Tawni, for taking her three little boys to church when they got old enough to start asking to go. It's not easy for her, and she's a great Mom.

My oldest son Zack  is older than Mav, and I thought I would be bummed that he wasn't the one to baptize Logan. But I really wasn't bummed about it. I'm proud of Zack for being who he is, and it's OK that he didn't go on a mission. It's OK that he isn't an Elder, and it's even OK if he doesn't get married in the temple. My life looks nothing like it did 5 years ago, and  I actually feel a peace that I haven't felt for a long time. People are charting their own course in this family and in this life, and I love them for who they are. I want them to be good people and live Christian lives, but if they do that in their own way, I'm OK with that.

The little cousins love Zack, and he's going to be a great Dad. He loves with his whole heart, and he's fun to be around. I'm so proud to be his Mom.

 An old high school acquaintance, Lee Imlay, is the bishop in Tawni's ward, and he teared up when he talked about the love and support he feels from our family. He said he felt a good spirit being around us. Tami is the only one of our seven siblings who is temple worthy, yet there is a strong spirit among us.

 If you look closely you can see an angel between Ashli and Kylie. Yeah, I know, it's just a dusty camera lens, but I like to think differently:) Our Mom would have been so happy to see us all there together yesterday, full of love for Logan and Mav and just happy to be all together.

 After the baptism, Ken and I got new matching tattoos. A lot of people won't understand that. It is a tattoo we have considered for a long time, and just recently finally found the perfect design. My family has deep celtic roots, and this tattoo honors that along with a heart to symbolize our love for each other.

I love it. I don't regret it at all.

Malissa took this picture for us after she finished up. Yeah, she rocks. She's covered in ink, pierced and dyed and she's one of my favorite people. She has a big heart, she loves her kids and her husband, and she makes me feel beautiful.

Yes, this is Wile E Coyote beneath our Celtic knot. He got it 32 years ago when he was in the Army. We thought about having Malissa do some amazing cover up work, but Ken's daughter, Jenny, says "NO!" It's part of who her Dad is. Nobody but Ken would have a Wile E Coyote tattoo  and she wants it to stay. So stay it will:)

Well... the Bishop called, and he'd like us to meet with him at 7:00 tonight. Ken is going. I'm not. I'm not ready.

Tyler's Graduation

 My baby graduated from high school on May 23, 2012, the first in our family to wear a yellow rope:) (Which means you're like really, really smart and stuff!) He was one of the Top Scholars in his class and I am SO proud of him. P.S. Aren't he and his sister GORGEOUS people?

 My niece, Brittany Baker, graduated from Grantsville High School on the same night, at the same time, that Tyler graduated from Juab High School, over 100 miles away. So my family had a hard time deciding which graduation to attend. Tami and her family just went half-n-half. Dave and Kylie went to Brittany's, and Tami and Mav came to Ty's.

 I LOVE this picture! Ty's football coach, Mike Bowring, has been an amazing part of his life for many years, both on and off the football field, and has helped shape the man Ty is today.

 Cute little Puggy and Megan joined the Searles in supporting Ty. Thanks you guys:) 

 The boys:) These three have been so close the past couple of years. Ty and Kelton will be roommates at Snow College in the fall. Kelty is a great kid and I think the world of him. He was given the Disciple of Christ Award at seminary graduation and I cried as much as if it were my own blood son receiving it. I'm so glad he's a part of my sons' lives.

 And they are best friends.

My kids didn't really understand when Ken and I took our pictures before the ceremony and let Ty's dad have the time afterwards. But I made the best decision for me. Knowing my own strengths and weaknesses, I held it together for as long as I could and then cried on the way home alone with Ken while Ty got on the bus to go to California with the kids he's known since he was like 4 years old. I'm glad he was raised in Nephi. But I'm SO ready for him to live here in Sanpete. I can't wait til fall when he comes to Snow College, where he'll be a... gasp... cheerleader!!!! I know, right? I'm so excited!

Success

To laugh often and love much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the approval of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To give of one’s self;

To leave the world a bit better,

whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;

To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived…This is to have succeeded.

I went to the Stansbury High School graduation today, where my nephews

Maveric and Aaron got their diplomas.

And my nephew Colton was there, too!!!

It was SUCH a GREAT day!!!

The principal quoted the above work by Emerson in his remarks,

and I LOVED it:)

Had a blast at the "afterparty" at Tara's house

These weekends with my sisters are good for my soul:)

Stronger

I just spent a couple days with my sisters.

Tami said I seem a little bit stronger every time she sees me:)

Tara said I'm beautiful.

And Tawni was doing my nails when I got a text that made my day.

I have hope for the future.

I keep getting stronger.

Seeing my family helps.

Those texts help:)

I'll be OK.

Peace

I try to keep my blog upbeat as much as possible. Focus on the great things happening in my life right now.

Because there ARE a lot of great things happening in my life.

But some days still just suck.

Some days I still feel pretty worthless. If the person who knows me best doesn't love me anymore, how can anyone love me at all? Ever?

So last night was rough. I was feeling pretty low and sad and discouraged about the future.

On those days, I start with a prayer. Then ask God if I can talk to my Mom.

And if I'm still pretty despondent, I call someone. Usually Ashli or Tami.

They talk me through it.

I remember why it's important to keep going.

Why my life isn't over just because of the pain I'm in.

But last night, the prayer and talking to Mom were enough:)

Pretty sure Joey, Marv and Grandpa dropped by, too.

I asked God to direct me to a scripture that would help, and my Bible fell open to Isaiah 66.

"Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her:

For thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river....

As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you;

and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem...

And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice.."

I'm sure there is a plan for me. I'm sure God hasn't forgotten me.

I'm sure there is still something lovable in me.

And today after work, I get to go hang out with the people who love me even though they know every single thing about me, good and bad..

My beautiful sisters:)

Yay! I NEED this.

Day 18~ Your Favorite Birthday

40 is a big deal for us girls, because our Mom died when she was 39. My great-aunt Veloy died just before my 40th birthday, so I was in Tooele at Tami's house on my birthday, preparing to go up to Smithfield for the funeral. I got a makeover on my way to Tooele. Loved my new hair:) Went to see "Iron Man" at the Erda drive-in on my birthday with Tami and her kids.

Day 4 - Steven aka Hig

If you called my Dad's house and asked for Steven, everyone would be looking for Tara's husband. This is Hig. Not sure when it started but it stuck. He has the kindest heart of any of my brothers and sisters. It used to break his heart when Kurt & I or Tami & Dave would argue after we got married. I've never heard him say an unkind thing to or about any of us. We don't see much of him anymore, maybe a couple of times a year. But it's always awesome to see him. Hig has had a lot of heartbreak in his life, losing friends and loved ones to death at young ages, and I think he protects his heart very carefully. He's never been married, although he's had some great women in his life over the years. I don't THINK he has any children, but he'd be a great, loving, compassionate Dad. I love this guy with all my heart and I pray every day for peace and happiness to follow him throughout his life.

Day 4- Tami

Today's blog topic is "Your Siblings", but since I have 6 of them, I'll break it down into more than one post. Tami is our Mom. She takes care of us all, even though I'm the oldest. She would do anything for any of us, and if we needed anything, Tami would be out the door before we even got off the phone, ready to take care of whatever the problem is.

She's a GREAT Mom, and nobody better hurt her kids or there WILL be hell to pay!

We call her BaBa because, for some reason, that's what Ashli called her when she was a baby and it stuck. BaBa it is:)

She's a marathon runner, and I'm excited to see her wear her 80's costume in the Provo half-marathon at the end of October. I love this girl. I'm jealous of her most of the time, but I adore her and I'm super proud to call her my little sister!

Day 3

The blog topic for today is "Your Parents" so I'm re-posting an old post about my Mom. But I better add something about my Dad, too!!!

My Dad never forgets a birthday, anniversary or Valentine's Day.. He never fails to send a card to me, Kurt and the kids, complete with one of his ink stamps in the bottom corner by his signature. He sends facebook hearts, hugs and smiles every day. He's very talented. He can fix anything and we never had to call anyone from a plumber to a building contractor when I was growing up. He built the addition to our home, sewed a 3-piece suit and has rebuilt countless vehicles from the engine to the paint job. He is an amazing woodworker, and I love the gifts he creates for me.

When people tell me "You remind me of your Mom", I know it's just my physical appearance. Noone ever really stops and tells me "You remind me of your Mom because..." Here's what I'd like to hear...

Becky Callister was a passionate person. She loved, laughed, cried all with the same intensity. I inherited that from her. Tami inherited that from her. We do nothing halfway. When I'm mad, I'm not just a little upset... I'm MAD!! When I like a Christmas gift, I don't just smile and say "Thank you". I jump up and squeal and scream and act like it's the most amazing gift I've ever received.

Becky Callister was an avid sports fan. If we couldn't find her at Grandma's house, we'd check the ball park. She donated countless hours to Bobby Sox and Little League. She used to ump games and they'd give her one hamburger from the snack bar for every game she umped. So she'd stand there behind home plate on a Saturday, game after game, in the hot sun, until she got a hamburger for each of us kids.

All of Becky's kids have spent more than one summer vacation at softball or baseball tournaments with our own kids.

When I see Tami, Tara, Paul and Ted at ball games with their kids, weekend after weekend all summer, I remember Mom and Grandma Becca doing the same thing.

When we were younger, before cable TV and the Turner networks, you either liked the Dodgers or the Yankees, because they were the only teams you ever saw play on TV. So, Mom was a Yankees fan, Grandma Becca was a Yankees fan, I married a Yankees fan and gave birth to three little Yankees fans.

Even Tara and Tawni's kids are getting old enough to play ball now.

Zack bought Logan his first baseball bat for his birthday this year. Mom would be so proud:)

My Mom was always too busy taking care of other people to take care of herself. I don't think I ever saw her wearing makeup. When she'd need to get her hair done, she'd have Judy Ault cut it short and perm it so it was low maintenance. She was just too busy to worry about hair and makeup when there were places to go, people to see and kids to watch at ball games or spelling bees. Until she got sick, I don't remember seeing my Mom actually sleeping. Sometimes she'd doze off in a chair, but she was always up before me and in bed sometime after I went to sleep.

My Mom taught me my first Primary song- "The Golden Plates"- and taught me that Families can be together forever. She got me hooked on Saturday's Warrior and I have those songs on my iPod today.

She taught me that the greatest gift God ever gave her was her children. Because of her love for us all, I couldn't wait to be a Mom myself someday.

She had a laundry basket full of unmatched socks. Yup, I do, too. I know I should throw them away, but I keep thinking the mate will turn up somewhere.

She had a hard time letting go of me. I moved up to Weber State to start college, and she showed up two days later to "check on me". I was SO mad!! Man, I'd like to have that day back. I get it now. It's hard to let go of your daughter. I inherited that from my Mom.





My Mom passed away 22 years ago. I still miss her so much sometimes. I know she'd have been an awesome Grandma, and she would have loved my husband. She'd be proud of all of her kids and grandkids and I like to believe our babies will get to meet her someday.