The Next Chapter....

So the financial situation is tough for all of us.

And it finally got to a point where something drastic had to happen.

Ashli and Mack offered to let me move in with them so I can save up some money.

The boys would stay in Nephi with their Dad while Tyler finishes up high school at Juab.

It was a heart wrenching decision.

I analyzed it from every angle.

Over and over again.

I consulted all of my trusted advisors.

And there was not one disssenting vote.

Everyone said I should take Ashli and Mack up on the offer.

That it was the absolute best thing for me financially and emotionally right now.

Mack sent me this picture in a text.

They had set up a bed for me in the spare bedroom.

With an Easter basket full of lotions, candy, a big fluffy towel...

I cried.

I knew I'd made the right decision.

The night before I moved out of Nephi, the boys and I spent hours just hanging out at my apartment. Zack brought Sweet Pea and played me lots of music. He kept saying

"You wanna hear a song I wrote?"

I fell for it every time. He'd play a gorgeous song, I'd be like "Wow, Zack. That's amazing." Til either he or Tyler finally cracked a smile and I knew it was just some popular song that I haven't heard on the radio. So he'd say "Sorry, Mom. No, really. I wrote this one." Then do it again. We had SO much fun:) A night I'll never forget!

I kept a stash of tootsie roll midgees over there by the computer.

But Tyler doesn't really eat junk food or drink pop.

Little Zack downed nearly the whole bag of tootsie rolls.

I'm super proud of how much I've downsized my stuff this past year.

Starting when we thought we had the house sold last Spring and we took literally 20 tons of stuff to the dump.

Then taking only what I really needed to the apartment in Nephi.

And now I've taken it down to one room and a corner of a storage unit.

It feels pretty good, actually. Freeing.

The grandfather clock my Dad made was the most important item in my move. It was the first thing we loaded because I wanted to make sure it would be safe for the 40-mile journey.

I LOVE this clock:)

Tyler took good care of it.

Mack brought the Cummins and a horse trailer over to Nephi to load up my stuff.

I don't think he's nearly as impressed with my downsizing as I am.

It seemed like a lot of stuff as they hauled it outside.

But I think I did pretty well. There was still room at the top of the trailer:)

I know I say this all the time.

But I have the most amazing kids in the world.

I already LOVE it here.

Ashli and Mack have made me feel so welcome and loved:)

NO MORE LAUNDRY-MAT:)

This is a little bit bittersweet for me, as I kind of got used to the whole thing.

It's great, though. To have a washer and dryer RIGHT HERE where we live. lol.

I had a washer just like this many years ago. I think Dixie gave it to us.

Those Kenmores last forever!!!

Hemi hung out with me today while I did some homework.

Love her:)

And if we walk through the backyard, we end up at the ball fields. Woohoo!

We watched Kritter play against Biggie and Makenzie tonight.

Super fun night:)

Life is good. Really.

Believe...

So we've already established that I have the greatest kids ever.

But I also have the greatest friends ever:)When I got home from work, there was a card in the mail clear from Northern California.

Lisa the Liberal sent me a card that said "I believe in you" with this awesome wristband attached.

I will wear it every day.

Alongside my Yankees one.

They would be accompanied by my Tough Enough to Wear Pink one.

But Hemi ate it.

Thank you Lisa. I heart you:)

Day 6-7

I decided to combine these days.. the topic for Day 6 is "Your Husband/Boyfriend" and Day 7 is "Your Definition on Love"

After 21 1/2 years of marriage, and 42 years of love, I think I've come to realize that love really is completely unconditional. Love means giving without wishing for anything in return. I haven't mastered this yet. I need to give more unconditional love, be completely selfless and be unafraid to love, without keeping score.

Love is Ashli's little dog jumping up and attacking her the minute she walks in the door, simply because she is happy to see Ashli. Love is Ashli holding the puppy on her lap all the way home from Grantsville after she threw up all over Ashli's car and clothes after a few too many treats.

I don't think love ever ends or it wasn't love in the first place. If love is returned, that is just a beautiful bonus, but not a condition for loving in the first place.

I'm working on it. So if I shower you with love over the next few weeks as I strive to be more loving, humor me. I'm not expecting anything in return:)

Thursday Night Lights

I LOVE watching Tyler play football this year! He's on the Juab JV squad, so his games are played on Thursday nights, and it's a great way to kick off the weekend:) Ty played both offensive and defensive line last night and he played SO WELL! The best game he's ever had, seriously. Juab beat Payson 21-6, and I was so proud of Ty:)

.

I love living in a small town. If you go to the grocery store or gas station on game day, you'll see a variety of people in the newest Juab Football t-shirt, hoodie or hat. It's a big fundraiser every year, and the boys have to be pretty competitive to get their 15 sales before the other football players beat them to it.

Last night at Ty's game, I looked around and saw some people who keep attending every sports event at the high school even though their kids have all graduated. I love that. Reminds me of little Bobby out in Grantsville, the most loyal Cowboys fan ever.

I saw people I actually haven't seen for a while, and was saddened to realize that I didn't recognize two people I've known for years. They've aged so much, they're not in the best health, and I couldn't help but think of them 10-15 years ago when they were full of energy, witty, funny and so much younger. I saw a lady that I thought was about my age holding a baby, and I asked Ashli if that was her grandchild. She laughed and said no, it was her baby, and that she is atleast ten years younger than me. Ugh!! I really do think I'm 29, don't I?

Ashli had her little dog there at the game, and everyone from little 3 year old children to grandmas and grandpas stopped to pet her and subsequently talk with me and Ashli for a few minutes. Ashli is amazed at how many people here in Utah say "Don't you have kids yet?" after she has only been married a year! It's definitely the required next step around here, and apparently the sooner the better, if the joking with her in the football stands is any indication.

I love walking out the gates and having people stop to tell me what great kids I have. Two different parents stopped me last night to tell me how glad they are that Tyler hangs out with their kids. Awe.. I can't take any credit for what a great kid he is, but I'd trade any amount of money and success to hear that kind of thing about the kids raised in our home:)

And most of all, I love that Kaitlyn ran to catch me and give me a hug as I was leaving the game. Kids are SO awesome! And the kids in this town are especially amazing. I know there are problems, but you just don't see the cliques and stuff that go on in other towns. One of the freshmen football players was sitting in front of us during the JV game, and the rest of the freshmen team called over to him to come sit with them. Ah.. love to see stuff like that.

~Family~

So this is the newest addition to our

FAMILY~

a teeny little dog named

Hemi

I tend her every day while Ashli and Mack go to work.

I'm ready to be a Grandma, but I am glad Ashli and Mack are waiting to have children until life is somewhat stable.. they're only 20 years old, after all....

So, I'll wait... patiently... and tend their baby dog in the meantime:)

I've been thinking about FAMILIES a LOT lately...

A couple of my high school friends have faced some challenges in their families and it just got me thinking... it absolutely breaks my heart to see families fall apart.

Sometimes marriages just have to end.. after every effort has been made, after every avenue has been explored, after lots of advice and prayer and tears...

Sometimes it just has to end..

But the family unit doesn't have to end... Mom and Dad are mutual parents of their joint children forever.... so I'm happy when I see people putting their own issues aside for the good of their children and maintaining a strong family bond even when Mom and Dad aren't together anymore. One of my friends said "Happiness is all that matters" I could not DISAGREE more.

Integrity matters. Morals matter. Compassion matters. Sacrifice matters. There is much more to life than our personal "happiness". In our marriage, we have both given up personal happiness at one point or another for the good of the children, for the good of each other, or just simply because it was the right thing to do.

So, my rambling thoughts about family brought me to the definition of a

FAMILY

I have some gay friends. I love them. They're good parents. They're good people. They want to be legal families.. they want to be able to legally get married.

And I'm not sure how I feel about this. My political party and my religion are pretty clear about where they stand on California's Proposition 8. But where do I stand on a personal level? It's so easy on paper... Satan is attacking the family. He is trying to destroy the family unit. But you ask the two adorable kids of my gay friends and they'll say they have a great family. They have a Mom and a Dad and Mom's partner and all of these adults absolutely ADORE them. Sure, it's nontraditional. But my family is nontraditional, too. We haven't had a Mom for 23 years. Is it worse to have two Moms than no Mom at all? I don't know....

But I do know that there is simply no continuation of the human race whatsoever without a man AND a woman creating a child, thus creating a family...

Here's what I do know... whatever the family unit.. a dog named Hemi instead of a baby, two Moms, a single Dad, my newly divorced friend with four kids... I think it is absolutely vital that we as adults make the lives of children as "traditional" as possible. Men bring something to the lives of children that women simply can't and vice versa. I hope that when we find ourselves in a position where our children are no longer in a home with Mom and Dad together, we give them opportunities to spend quality time with Grandmas or Grandpas, Uncles or Aunts, religious leaders, teachers, people of both genders, to bring their unique gifts and talents to the lives of children.

This past summer, we've had to find a balance between all of the things we want in our family. Money is tight, so we didn't go to a Yankees game this year... we went camping.

Ah! I'm so GLAD that money was tight.. this camping trip blessed our lives tremendously.

Read a great scripture in Sacrament Meeting today...

2 Timothy 2:20

But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver,

but also of wood and of earth..

Love that..

We do still love our baseball, so we've gone to a couple Orem Owlz

games on Sundays, when it's only $1 to get in....

It's been fun, but nothing can compare to the feeling we

had last August when our daughter married the love of her

life in the Manti temple...

So I think we've decided to skip the Sundays at the ball park.

I think we can spring for $4 on a Tuesday if we really

want to hit an Owlz game:)

It's vital that we teach our children the value of hard work,

no matter what their chosen profession will eventually be.

Whatever we do, wherever we are, the bottom

line is simply this...

Together is the best place to be...

...And I vow to never take it for granted that

we have six people (and two dogs) who love each

other immensely... who are willing to

sacrifice time, money, and personal desires

for the good of each other.

I am SO blessed to have this amazing

family..