725 days to go....

Saying goodbye to Ty was even harder than I thought it would be. We took him to the MTC 5 days ago and I haven't heard from him yet, so I'm kind of down. I hope he gets to write tomorrow. I'm proud of him. But I miss him so much. 

 The week leading up to his departure was emotional. Seeing all of his life spread out and ready to pack into two bags was rough.  

 We spent a lot of time together the week before he left. Bowling, barbecues, Disney movies, Yahtzee and Monopoly. It was so great. 

 We took the kids up to the Keebler house geocache the night before Ty left. We had a family testimony meeting up there after he got set apart. 

 He looked like a secret service agent the morning of our taking him to the MTC.

 One last stop at the Santaquin Maverik on our way to Provo. 

Three of my favorite men in the whole world! 

Zack has been asking for a picture of the 5 of us since Ty's high school graduation, so we finally did it for him. 

A Breath of Fresh Air

I don't know where I'd be without this girl. She keeps me sane. In 2011, she whisked me off to counseling, which she paid for. She has a way of seeing what I need before I even realize it. I read every book that she recommends to me. Among the list are The Love Dare, Crucial Conversations and The People Code (which I just ordered today).  I have watched her marriage blossom into a respectful partnership. They started out four years ago as two 19-year old kids and I wasn't sure they were ready for all this. 

Who could have known at the time that they were more "ready" than any of the parents with our combined 40 years of marriage experience? She is a tremendous example of maturity, dignity and grace in the face of opposition. Ashli is a breath of fresh air. 

Plus, she gave us Riken, so you know.... she's like everything to us.

 

I'm throwing this picture on because I found it on a missionary mom blog today and I love it. 

 

The Kindness of Others

I'm pretty emotional right now. Tyler leaves in three weeks for his mission. His farewell is this Sunday. As I was buying things for his first aid kit, I just kept thinking of all the little things that he might need something for. A headache. A stomachache. A papercut. A bee sting. Blisters on his feet. A sunburn. It's not the big things that scare me. It's picturing him all alone for the little irritants of daily life that he just walks into Mom's place and grabs Tylenol or a bandaid for. So I'm OK but not OK at the same time. I'm proud of him but I'm going to miss him so much.

 These two are my salvation.  They bring me Sip-It drinks at work, help out with all of the yardwork here at the apartments, hug me when I cry, and make every day just better. 

I've given a lot of people a lot of quilts over the years, but Kenna just gave me my first hand-made quilt since my FIRST wedding 24 years ago. I LOVE it!!! 

I've only worked at Snow College for about a month, so the ladies I work with don't know me all that well yet, and they don't know Tyler AT ALL, but on Monday, at different times throughout the day, every one of the ladies in my office (and the 18 year old girl!) asked me at separate times if I need help with food for Ty's luncheon on Sunday. Wow. I have never worked with people this thoughtful before. I am so blessed. 

Clean and Sober

I've gone 26 hours without facebook. I've quit other things before. Even addictive type things. But this I'm really proud of. I took the app off my iPhone and haven't logged in on any of the four computers I normally use for my social media addiction. I've done this before. Several times. I'm sure I'll end up putting a few pictures up again and slowly getting back on daily, but for now I think I just want to focus on spending a few last weeks with Ty and talking face to face with the people I love, and more importantly, the people who love me. I'll know who they are because it will take a little more effort to get in touch with me than it did when I was always a green dot on the facebook chat box. 

My BFF

Someone I love hurt me today. I'm sure she has her reasons that would probably make sense to me, but I was too busy looking through my tears to get a clear picture of the whole situation. I went to my husband's office to cry on his shoulder. He hugged me and let me cry, and then he wanted to fix it like husbands do. Everything he said made sense, but it was just too logical.  I called my daughter, but she had worked until 3:00 this morning and was asleep, so I sent a text to my BFF, Kyle. He's a 25 year old guy from India who was born with cerebral palsy. Aside from Ken and my kids, he is my best friend. I love him. Kyle did his job perfectly today. He told me I was right and she was wrong and he was in my corner just like he is supposed to be. Now, we all know that I am not 100% right and she is not 100% wrong, but your BFF is supposed to pretend like that is the case. And he did. That's why I love him. Thank you, Kyle. I feel better already:) 

For my single friends

Lots of my friends have found themselves alone lately. Single after being married for a long time to men they loved and wanted to spend their whole lives with, eternity with even. I hate watching them struggle and hurt. Because I so clearly remember every tear I shed and every night I laid alone in my little twin bed in my little apartment in Nephi, wishing I were home in my big bed with my husband whom I still loved even after everything. I have no idea why the Lord decided that after 7 months, I had struggled long enough. Why I get to be the lucky one who found Ken. I wasn't the skinniest or the prettiest or even the sweetest girl out on the market at the time, so why did he choose me? Why do I get to be so happy when so many of my single friends haven't found this happiness yet? 

 I think the answer has everything to do with my Heavenly Father and the prayers offered by SO many people who love me on my behalf. I could never have found Ken if he wasn't a man who loved his Heavenly Father and could see something in me that the rest of the world couldn't see. People throw the term "soul mates" around, but there's something to be said for a love that sees beyond everything else and into your soul. The soul of this man found the soul of this woman and everything else fell into place. I've never been loved like this. Not when I was 125 pounds or 20 years old or becoming a Mom three times. It's when I'm an older, heavier grandma that I get to have this. 

 And it's because I looked for a man who would give me this. Take me to the temple. Give me priesthood blessings when I need them. Ordain my son an Elder. It was important to me. It's not important to everyone. But it is to me. God knew that. And he sent me my soul mate in the form of the cable guy. I wish all of my single friends could find this. Pray, girls. Love your Heavenly Father. Love yourself. There ARE good men out there. And when you find yours, I hope you cherish him like I do mine. I am SO blessed!!! 

He's Counting the Days... me, not so much

 Tyler is SO busy, we haven't even had time to get photos taken of him for his farewell announcements, the newspaper and so forth. So today when I had him home for about 15 minutes,  I had him throw on a shirt and tie and snap a couple shots. 

 I am going to miss this guy SO much!!! 

 He had a fun shopping spree with Ashli, Mack and Riken in St. George yesterday and is just about done buying everything he needs for his mission. He leaves in 5 weeks, and I am SO not ready. He's been working in Cedar City all summer, so I only see him on Sundays for a few hours. I guess it's probably good.. baby steps to the 104 weeks where I won't even see him on Sundays (except for the two May Sundays where we get to Skype. Yay!!!!) 

This one is my favorite. His new Nike shorts for P-day are super comfy and look smashing with his new tie. 

My Dad's Birthday

I really was super busy yesterday, but my little sister planned a barbecue for my Dad's 70th birthday, and I knew I had to be there. I asked Abby to close for me at work, got Ken to handle checking in the Manti pageant guests here at the apartments, and took my buddy Kyle to Grantsville for Dad's birthday. I was glad I went. It's not very often that my Dad is with all his kids at the same time, so it was a good night:) 

Steppin

I'm not a very good Stepmom. I want to be. I try to be. But I don't even know HOW to be.  I always saw myself as more of a Susan Sarandon than a Julia Roberts in the whole Stepmom scenario. The kids are all adults and 75%  of them are female, so it's like... really, really hard to keep them all happy, while still keeping my husband happy, my own kids happy, and myself happy.  Ken and I spend a LOT of time with my kids and not as much with his kids. Which of course I document on facebook. Every breath Riken takes gets a full facebook album posted by Grandma. Yup, that's a problem when your husband has 11 OTHER grandchildren as well. There's no vicious motive here or anything. Ken's daughters spend a lot more time with their Mom than they do with their Dad, and I think the same is true of my kids, me and Kurt. Families just naturally gravitate toward moms and grandmas, and if dads and grandpas are married to someone else, it takes a lot more effort to carve out time together. So, take a breath. Learn a lesson. And try to do better. Oh, yeah, and when you can't make EVERYONE happy, probably focus on making sure the husband is happy, yes? That's the key relationship here, after all.

Paula Deen

I'm not necessarily the biggest Paula Deen fan but come on, who is the bad guy here? The one who held up the bank or the one who made disparaging comments about the CRIMINAL? Pretty sure I'd have some choice words for a guy who held a gun to my head, be he black, white or yellow. She has not made racist comments on air as part of her job. Yeah, I've seen her apology. It's probably insincere. She's a Southern woman, set in her ways, wealthy and arrogant, and I imagine she uses the word in her home. But I certainly don't think it warrants this kind of action. This woman makes millions of dollars for a whole lot of people and I hope she continues on her own and continues making millions that she can spend on whatever the heck she wants to without having to answer to anyone for her personal life. 

Temple with Tyler

 Tyler received his endowment in the Manti temple today. He had some great support from people who love him. 

 His best friend Kelton was his escort. Kelt leaves on the 19th for his mission in Oregon, so it was awesome that they got to share this experience before he goes. 

 McKenna and Tami had the exact same color on when they arrived. SO CUTE!! 

 Tami is always so supportive of everything my kids do. She drove a long way this morning to be there for Ty. Love her:)

 My boys and their dad

 Us:)

I'm blessed with two amazing sons. I love these guys beyond words. 

Tuesday

This was not a good day. I cried a lot. But then I read this 

http://www.thislittlemiggy.com/

and saw Miss Lamp coloring pictures on her door holding the marker between her toes and thought 

"OK, I can do this." Someone always has it worse, right? 

And maybe tomorrow will be better. 

And Saturday Tyler goes through the temple for the first time so that will be a day like no other in the history of days. Ever. I can do this. Right? 

Best gift ever

Tyler seriously just gave me the BEST gift ever! I recently started jogging again in the mornings, and Tyler programmed one of our old iPods with songs he likes so I can listen to 954 of his favorite tunes while he's on his mission. I already find myself smiling when songs come on that remind me of when he was a little boy.   I think every boy who moves away from home should do something like this for his Momma. LOVE it:) Plus it keeps me motivated to get up and jog when I really don't feel like it otherwise. This is a good thing:) 

Riken

 He officially moved to St George on Thursday. 

I finally put away the walker, bouncer, tub, stroller, playpen, etc. last night. 

I'm super happy for Ashli and Mack and think they will have a FABULOUS life in sunny St. George, but, dang, I miss having Riken in my home every day. 

Yankees @ Rockies 2013

Unless you are a baseball fan, you have NO idea how amazing this is. Mariano Rivera is unarguably the BEST closer in the history of baseball and he's retiring at the end of the season, so for us to have this view of him warming up in the bullpen and then taking the field to get the save is like almost an impossible life event. 

But to make it even MORE amazing, just as I was finishing taping the video, Yankees pitching coach Mike Harkey looked up at Tyler and tossed him the ball that Mo had been using to warm up in the bullpen. WOW!!! We've obtained a few balls from games over the years, but THIS one. Wow. Touched by only 4 people at this point. Mariano Rivera, Austin Romine, Mike Harkey and Tyler Allred. This is unbelievable. 

 The whole trip was amazing!!! I just threw these photos on blogger in random order, but it was awesome. 

 This was Ken's first MLB game EVER and Brett Gardner tossed him a ball during batting practice. AWESOME! 

 We were thisclose to Mo a few times this week. Awe. Life is good:) 

 Pro Rodeo Hall of Fame was great. 

 One of the highlights of our trip was meeting Tom Cortez. We stopped for lunch at a Jack-in-the-Box and this amazing guy was working. We were all in Yankees jerseys, so he came over to our table and introduced himself as a lifelong Yankees fan who didn't have tickets to any of the three games in the series. Well, we had two extra because Ashli and Mack couldn't make the trip, and we gave them to Tom. He met us at the game, and we had a blast getting to know him a little bit. Great guy. 

 Joba's still rehabbing from an injury and did some jogging in the outfield before Game 3.

 CC!!!

 Before game 3, we finally found the fun stuff out in the community surrounding Coors Field in Denver. Like the $1 hot dog stand! 

 On the last day of our trip, we went out to Golden to see the brewery 

 and the Buffalo Bill museum. 

 We got a big kick out of this. 

 Great trip, great memories made in the summer before Ty leaves for his mission. 

Am I a lucky girl or what?